Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
