no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
