just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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