The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
