I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
