well you can't waste a boner
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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