How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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