So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize