Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
