I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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