I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
