so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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