Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
