I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
