I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
