2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have fence marks all over my body
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