Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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