I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
