well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
