I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
