Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
