$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
