He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
