I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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