I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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