i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize