Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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