There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
