Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize