So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
