So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize