I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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