Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
