I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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