i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
