Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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