Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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