I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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