my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
