obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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