It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
