My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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