I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You're like the curious george of whores
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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