sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
