take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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