Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my liver is dry heaving
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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