wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
