I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
