She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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