i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize