I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
