Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
