You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
