I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Two words: blizzard sex
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
