so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
