You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize