we have officially lost it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she smelled like a LAN party
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
