He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you traded sex for a burrito?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
