I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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