5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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