I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
