end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
