If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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