Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
